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She started to slide her hand under the waistband and then paused. “I always wondered,” she said. “Does Santa’s sleigh just slide and glide o.k. all by itself? Or do you have to lubricate it, Hon? Does Santa use lubrication to help things slide?” I was breathing heavily. “Lube, no lube…at Santa’s age, he takes whatever he can get!” I replied. She laughed. “I think Santa probably likes lube. Time to lubricate Santa’s runners.” I thought I was going to pass out. She got down on her knees, and slowly lowered my pants. Then she kissed me through my briefs. Then she reached up, grabbed the waistband with one hand on each side of my hips, and slowly pulled my underpants down. I had my biggest erection in twenty years. “Do elves ever do the lubricating, Hon?” she asked. “Does Santa like elves to do it, or just Mrs. Santa?” “I’ve never had an elf do it,” I replied. “Then this is Santa’s lucky day!” she said. “I’ll be your little elf. Elves are short, aren’t they, Hon? Like I am now, on my. I started going to clubs. I registered on dating sites. I went to speeddating events. I had a few contacts, but nothing ever went past a firstdate, until Michael came along.Michael was handsome--a head of curly dark hair, a dazzling smile, andsix-pack abs. And he was charming. Oh, he was charming. I surrendered myvirginity to him. (It was bad enough being a 25-year-old virgin, Iwasn't going to let myself become a 40-year-old virgin--I think that wasthe title of a film eighty or so years ago).Things with Michael went along just great for months. When he startedstanding me up rather abruptly, I always accepted his excuses, as lameas they seemed to be. I have to admit I was as stupid about men as I wassmart about the rest of my life. Of course, he was cheating on me. Therewere two other women in his life at the same time, and he had promisedeach of us we were the One and Only. (In a grudging way, I have to admitthat I admired his ability to pull it off for so long.)I gave myself a couple.
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